• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

TITLE: Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

YEAR: 2008

GENRE: Horror and Comedy

If you are an independent film maker and you have a questionable concept for a movie, there is a simple way to help its marketability factor: add as much female nudity as humanly possible. Whether the nakedness is paramount to the story is irrelevant, as booby power is sure to fill the seats and create interest for those guys who would rather watch films like Showgirls over The Shawshank Redemption. Such is the case with our most recent independent film, Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

The plot starts like the beginning of countless zombie films. A pharmaceutical research laboratory has an experiment gone wrong, and their test subjects become blood thirsty zombies who infect every person they bite. A battle ensues at the lab, but the living dead are victorious and escape their prison to wreck havoc onto the unsuspecting world. The drug lab just happens to be next to the city’s local topless bar, and the last stand against the impending undead apocalypse ends up being defended against by strippers and pimps. Who would have known that the last stand against the end of the world would have topless dancers as soldiers to defend humanity? Chaos ensues like every other zombie film, and blood, brains, and even breasts go flying everywhere.

Yes the plot of the film is ridiculous and there are a lot of plot holes, but the writing for this film was not half bad. There are a lot of good one-liners (“That’s not a crack whole, it’s a crack whore zombie!”) and a lot of funny conversations throughout (when one of the strippers refers to herself as a bitch, a male patron says “Yes, but you’re a hot bitch!”). The acting also wasn’t as terrible as one would expect, especially Anthony Headen as an over-the-top pimp. The film also has some pretty good production qualities for its limited $30,000 budget, although the splatter effects leave a lot to be desired. The zombie make-up though was good quality knowing that it was not from a major Hollywood studio.

There is such a thing as a good stupid movie (Killer Klowns From Outer Space is an excellent example), but unfortunately Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! does not have enough quality moments to cross this threshold. There is another similar film called Zombie Strippers starring Jenna Jameson in her first non-porn role, and I know a lot more people saw that piece of garbage (which by the way shows that Jameson just does not have any acting skills) instead of Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!. To be honest, Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! is a better film, but that is like comparing one can of trash with another. Still, there are some redeeming qualities to this film, and Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! is worth a rental for those who enjoy lots of D-cups along with their undead dismemberments.

* * *

–Mark

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