• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

Splatter University

TITLE: Splatter University

YEAR: 1984

GENRE: Horror

In the world of horror movies there are a lot of copycat flicks that prey on the success of other films and attempt to duplicate the financial victory of the before mentioned films. Movies such as Halloween (1978) and Friday The 13th (1980) are watershed moments in horror history, and as a result these trailblazer films created a wave of less inspired slasher films, most not worth the 35mm stock in which the film was printed. Such is the case with Splatter University, a Troma-produced horror film that played on the serial killer knocking off dumb and unsuspecting college students. Splatter University is a lousy film that does not deliver the goods in terms of scares or gore.

A serial killer has escaped a mental institution and is terrorizing students on a Catholic college campus. After a sociology professor ends up dead, the university ends up replacing the deceased educator just in time for a new crop of students ready for the books and unprepared for the killer’s knife. Students, professors, and even local residents are not safe from the wrath of the psychopathic killer and the school lives in fear. Student Julie Parker (Forbes Riley) decides that somebody needs to take the reins on finding the killer and turns into the investigative detective to unmask the killer. Her findings are scary enough.

Splatter University is lacking on many levels. First of all, the script for this copycat film does not add anything to the slasher genre and it is neither interesting nor creative. The killer is unmasked at the very end of the film and his identity comes to surprise to nobody; personally, I figured out his identity within 30 minutes of the running of the movie. The title of the film is also deceptive, as the spatter in Splatter University is lacking and the kills lack any ingenuity. The filming is also a bit dark and Splatter University uses a fair amount of stock footage that at times does not fit the film very well. The acting is especially bad and the male as a brooding sexist pig stereotype is played up in Splatter University to an annoying level. The best part: at 78 minutes of length the suffering of the viewer is mercifully short.

I had no plans to review this film because I considered it irrelevant to today’s Netflix user, however I have had this “recommended” to me on numerous occasions by the server of the site. Because of this, it became an obligation to warn potential viewers that Splatter University is a terrible project that plays on a stereotypical formula and adds nothing to its genre. Avoid this turkey at all costs.

*

–Mark

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