• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

A Nightmare On Elm Street

TITLE: A Nightmare OnElm Street

YEAR: 2010

GENRE: Horror

Hollywood seems to be running out of fresh and creative ideas. Evidence of this is the slew of remakes that have materialized over the past few years. Many of these remakes happen to be horror films, and most of them are just plain awful. Wes Craven is one of the most guilty as he has opened up his vaults and sold the rights to The Hills Have Eyes and The Last House On The Left, two classic 1970’s horror movies that never should have seen the light of a re-imaging. Another example is the 2010 version of A Nightmare On Elm Street, an inept scare offering that is as rotten as the sores on Freddy Krueger’s burned backside.

Freddy Krueger (played by Jackie Earl Haley) is a hated child killer who is allowed out of jail on a legal technicality. Taking the law into their own hands, a group of suburbanites chase Kruger to his boiler room hideout and burn down the complex while Kruger is trapped inside. The vigilantes believe that the evil deeds have ended, but true evil never dies and Krueger is able to travel into the dreams of unsuspecting teenagers and terrorize them in their nightmares. As stories of the knives for fingers burned specter spread throughout the local high school, student Nancy Holbrook (Rooney Mara) begins to investigate her nocturnal visitor and discovers Krueger and his terrible death. As the body count rises, Nancy knows she must stay awake in order to survive. But how does one protect themselves from a killer who attacks them in the world between being awake and asleep?

The biggest problem that A Nightmare On Elm Street has against it happens to be the fact that director Samuel Bayer (most known for directing numerous music videos including for Metallica and Green Day) does not capture the magic of the source material. Haley is an acceptable killer, but he is very much a one dimensional character and can not hold a candle to the legendary performance to the original Freddy, Robert Englund. Englund brings a great deal of personality to the gloved terror and brings a sadistic sense of humor that Haley does not display in any part of the film, and the final product is not as entertaining as the 1984 slasher classic. Unfortunately Haley’s performance is actually the best of the bunch, as the rest of the thespians in A Nightmare On Elm Street give wooden and uninspired performances. Nothing else is enthused as well and the production comes across as a paint-by-numbers teen horror film that has limited suspense and predictable scares. The original series also brought many creative kills throughout the series, and this abomination never sheds a light of inventiveness in any scene and actually regurgitates many of the creative special effects from the source material including Freddy’s figure coming out of a bedroom wall.

There are many Hollywood producers who are hoping that lightning will strike twice, and in terms of a balance sheet this re-imaging was a box office hit. I actually saw this in an actual theater on opening night, and at the end of the film the majority of the crowd actually booed when the credits rolled. This is a fitting response to some of these terrible adaptations, as fans would prefer more creative films such as The Mist over barfing out some unappetizing trash such as this. A sequel is unfortunately in the works, and true fans of the series should express their displeasure and not support continued abominations of the name of the icon Freddy Krueger. Do yourself a favor and buy the wonderful original from 1984 and leave this trash on the shelf where it belongs.

*

–Mark

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