• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

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Three On A Meathook

TITLE: Three On A Meathook

YEAR: 1973

GENRE: Horror

It amazes me how much one film no matter how bad it may be can create a significant buzz through marketing. One way independent or small budget film makers will use to market their films is to give the product an outrageous title that will make the movie stand out among its peers on the store shelves or Netflix pages. The problem with this theory is that the films never meet the high expectations that a bizarre or shocking title expected from the fans (with the exception of the 1974 classic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre), but then again at that point the film makers already have their share through the fan’s discovery at that point so the marketing ended up being victorious anyway. This is the case with the 1970’s exploitation horror film Three On A Meathook, which may have an incredible moniker yet never rises itself to the even basement quality horror schlock.

Billy Townsend (played by James Carroll Pickett) is a gentle but not too bright young man who discovers four female college students broken down on the side of the road. Billy offers his home for the girls to spend the night while their vehicle is being repaired. During the night the foursome are brutally murdered, and Billy has no recollections of the past night’s events. Billy’s father Pa (Charles Kissinger) helps his son cover up the bodies, and when another young woman named Debbie (Linda Thopmpson) steps into Billy’s life Pa becomes concerned that the murders will start up again. But is Billy the killer or is there somebody else using Billy to cover up his own blood soaked sins?

This film had a microscopic budget of $20,000 so the special effects are not going to be stellar, but almost all aspects of Three On A Meathook are downright terrible. Even with a tiny amount of money it is still possible to be fairly creative with camera angles, shoot some pretty clear pictures, and perform some decent acting but Three On A Meathook does not deliver on any accounts. This is especially true when some of the talking scenes will use the same angle for nearly five minutes instead of doing the occasional close-up or using a different perspective. The murder of the four college girls is performed without any suspense or cat-and-mouse style chase scenes, most of the blood in Three On A Meathook happens in just a few minutes toward the beginning of the film, and the gore itself is pathetic especially a ridiculously bad beheading scene. The real killer makes an appearance at the end of the movie but most seasoned horror fanatics will figure out the identity of the psychopath within twenty minutes of  Three On A Meathook. The best acting comes from former beauty queen Thompson in her first theatrical appearance (most of the rest of her Hollywood career included being extras), but she is average at best when it comes to independent screen queen acting chops.

Director William Girdler cranked out nine supposed shockers in a  six year period including the acceptable blaxploitation film Abby and the Jaws-inspired Grizzly that featured a tall guy in a bear suit as the monster. Three On A Meathook was a modest drive-in hit during its initial relaese, received multiple VHS releases in the 1970’s and 80’s, and is garnishing a DVD release which amazes me considering that many much better 1970’s films are being forgotten. Be warned: the best part of Three On A Meathook is the title and the rest is pure unadulterated trash that has minimal production values and even worse presentation. Avoid.




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