• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

Mega Piranha

TITLE: Mega Piranha

YEAR: 2010

GENRE: Science Fiction and Horror

There is a fine line between creating a camp classic and a piece of crap. The camp classic will have cheesy acting, a ridiculous storyline, and over the top situations while a piece of crap may have the same yet do not pull off the ingredients. It is like cake: it is sweet and not good for you on any level, but some people make confectioners that are irresistible and a pleasant assault on the senses. The SyFy Channel is notorious for making bad made for TV movies and most of them sorry to say keep on the level of low grade trash and do not cross the line into classic campy goodness. This is the case with Mega Piranha, an abominable steaming pile of smelly chum that attempted to be an over the top effort but fails at every turn.

A tourist boat carrying an American diplomat sinks in the Amazon River which kills all the passengers, and the government sends Navy Seal investigator Jason Fitch (played by Paul Logan) to find out what happened. While landing at the airport, Fitch runs into Professor Sarah Monroe (Tiffany) and is warned of a scientific experiment gone wrong: genetically enhanced piranhas that grow to enormous size and have a voracious appetite. Fitch learns that the monster fish story is true and has problems with Venezuelan army Colonel Antonio Diaz (David Labiosa) who craves to resolve the fish problem militarily and U.S. Secretary Of State Bob Grady (Barry Williams) who wants to stop the fish before they become America’s problems. As the fish grow and mutate to the size of Great White sharks, it appears that all military efforts to cease the advancement of the school of carnivorous fish has failed. Can the fish be stopped?

Mega Piranha has the potential to be a cult classic, but falls woefully short mostly due to the fact that the storyline and situations are so dim-witted that it does not come across as very comical or campy in nature. The continuity of the film is awful especially when one car chase changes the pursuit SUV three times and does not even try to match the colors, which may be fun in a 1950’s Ed Wood film but comes across as dense today. The Venezuelan military would be better run by the Three Stooges as all the soldiers are presented as idiots: they lose Fitch in one car chase because he makes one right turn into an alley, plus when they fire their machine guns even the broad side of a barn is safe from any bullets. As expected in most SyFy Channel movies, the acting is downright terrible: Logan never changes his grunting, almost constipated facial expression throughout the film, Williams’ (yup, the same guy from “The Brady Bunch”) career has sunk to a new low, and Tiffany (yup, the 1980’s bubble gum pop queen that sung “I Think We’re Alone Now” and later Playboy model) looks good in a soccer Mom-type of way and God bless her soul for trying but she could not act her way out of a mime’s imaginary box. The CGI effects are some of the worst I have ever seen and are almost laughable. Some of the over the top scenes are fun enough, especially when the Venezuelan military helicopter is destroyed by a few hundred foot leap by one of the monster fish and is crushed in its jaws. I will not ruin the ending, but I will say that it is probably the dumbest finale I have ever seen and does not give the viewer a satisfying resolution.

Director Eric Forsberg (Aliens On Crack, Sex Pot) is obviously not trying very hard to make an award-winning film, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is when there is virtually no effort to make a film that is comical, ridiculous, or even cohesive in nature, and sadly Mega Piranha is none of these. Die-hard Z-grade movie fans may enjoy this as Mega Piranha does have a cult following, but most viewers will find Mega Piranha to be a waste of time.

* 1/2

–Mark

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One Response

  1. What a silly movie…I think it did not cost more than 100$…pfffff

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