• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

TITLE: Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

YEAR: 2010

GENRE: Science Fiction and Horror

Thanks to the SyFy Channel and The Asylum, ultra low budget creature feature-type films have made a major comeback. These films have a simple design pattern: ridiculous monsters and sub-par special effects combined with washed-up teen stars playing major roles should equal a cult movie hit. It is so far so good for the creative team, as these films have received a monstrous following on the internet, good ratings for SyFy, and acceptable sales on DVD and Blue Ray. Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is a sequel in-name only to Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and is a stupid yet at-times entertaining entry in the series.

Two monster animals are creating problems on opposite sides of the world: off the shores of the United States a giant shark is being hunted by the Navy with Lt. Terry McCormack (played by Jaleel White) who has invented a sonic shark repellent device in tow; meanwhile, in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, big game hunter Nigel Putnam (Gary Stretch) has captured a 1500 foot long mutant crocodile and is planning to haul the beast to Los Angeles for the ultimate display of a monster animal. The giant shark happens to attack the ship carrying the giant crocodile and as a result the huge reptile is released. The shark discovers it likes eggs and starts eating the recently laid eggs of the croc, which does not sit well with the lizard. The military sees this issue between the monsters as their Achilles Heel, and lure both animals by moving a bunch of the crocodile eggs to the Panama Canal for an epic confrontation. Assisted by Admiral Calvin (Robert Picardo) and NOAA Special Agent Hutchinson (Sarah Lieving), the military along with McCormack and Putnam work to destroy the gigantic monsters once and for all.

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is amazing in that facts and science do not stand in the way of its plotline. How does one haul a 1500 foot long animal on the top of a medium sized ship without being noticed? How does a fresh water reptile survive in the cold water ocean? Even if one is able to turn off the logical end of their brain Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is still a very dumb movie. The CGI effects are downright awful and the fight scenes between the animals are too dark, and the scenes where the shark is jumping over a battleship look like a rubber fish flying over a model. Most of the acting is pretty bad as well: Putnam does a terrible Crocodile Dundee impersonation complete with a constipated sounding voice; Picardo showed up for the paycheck and mostly phoned in his appearance; and Lieving is too much of the stereotypical tough female military type. A running joke on the internet about this film is that White, formerly nerdy Steve Urkel on the TV show ‘Family Matters” (nerd cinema fans conveniently forget that he is also the voice of the much cooler Sonic The Hedgehog), is a military guy in this film and I guess that is supposed to be funny, but the truth of the matter is that he is the best actor in the film and actually does an acceptable job considering the material. The best part of this film is that the pace is as fast as possible, the film editing is quick paced and crisp, and the overall film production is pretty decent especially for a $500,000 production.

Director Christopher Ray is a second generation B-movie director, as his father is the famous Fred Olen Ray who created Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Deep Space, and a bunch of sexy sci-fi and horror films for Cinemax. Most SyFy Channel movies are designed to be cheap thrills worthy of a good laugh, and judging from that standard Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is a success. These films are developing a major cult following, and although the plot holes are so huge one could lose the Moon  Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is a fun screening if the viewer is able to turn off their brain and enjoy the stupidity filling the screen. It is not worth a second viewing, but once is fun enough.

* * 1/2

–Mark

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