• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

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TITLE: Teeth

YEAR: 2007

GENRE: Horror and Comedy

There are some films that will make certain people cringe in pain and others cheer at the same scenes. The 1976 grindhouse classic I Spit On Your Grave would be one of those films where the female viewers will applaud the revenge inflicted by Jennifer Hills on the hillbillies who raped her while the male viewers grab their manhoods and wince in pain and abject terror at the gruesome deaths of the same rednecks. Teeth is another one of those films that will cause the females watching to cheer and the men to yelp at the male hating deaths throughout the film, but Teeth is also entertaining, well written, and at times hysterical.

Dawn O’Keefe (played by Dawn Weixler) is the head at her high school for a Christian abstinence group called The Promise. While hanging out with friends from The Promise Dawn meets Toby (Hale Appleman) and starts to fantasize that he might be the man to marry. The twosome get together for some old fashioned necking, but Toby has a desire to go farther than second base and ends up violating Dawn. During the rape an unexpected event happens: Dawn’s vagina bites off Toby’s penis at the base and she runs away leaving Toby to bleed to death. Upon doing some research Dawn discovers that she has a rare condition called “vagina dentala”, which means she has a row of carnivorous teeth within her most intimate area. Having a row of incisors in one’s vagina does have its advantages, as Dawn realizes that her newly discovered feminine wiles combined with her heart-shaped toothy box is the perfect combination for revenge against the men that have wronged her in her life.

Although the premise may sound very much like 1960’s Z-rated trash cinema, Teeth in reality is a well made and highly crafted piece of independent art. The direction and writing is top notch, and the acting is well done and one can feel the confusion and conflict of the lead character as a teen girl who deals with her uniqueness. There is a message of teen awkwardness contained in Teeth, but the story of the film is its unique dismemberments and deaths that are straight out of a teen boy’s nightmares. The horror elements such as gore and suspense are limited, but when the sex materializes one knows what will happen to the unfortunate male. One scene in particular where an especially sickening male character loses his most precious possession and his canine munches the member down like a doggie treat is one of those “you have to see it to believe it” scenes in modern independent film history and is cringe-worthy for all males watching the film. What makes Teeth especially unique is its tongue firmly planed in cheek mentality and at times the movie is especially hilarious.

Perverse gynecologist Dr. Godfrey was played by character actor Josh Pais who fans would recognize in costume as Rafael in the 1990 live-action classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Teeth ran the film festival circuit in 2007 and 2008 and received major buzz at the influential Sundance Film Festival, and all the accolades were well deserved. Teeth is a great horror comedy that gives a perfect combination of mental gross-out scares and belly laughs. Recommended.

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