• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

TITLE: Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

YEAR: 2011

GENRE: Science Fiction and Horror

I appreciate the fact that The Asylum and the SyFy Channel has brought about renewed interest in the giant monster movie through their releases such as Mega Piranha and Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus. The problem with this resurgence is that The Asylum is creating mostly films that revel in their badness instead of making the occasional good film such as Them! and The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is no exception to this Asylum rule, as the film does have some comical moments but mostly is for those who enjoy movies as bad as they come with an extra helping of cheese whiz.

A group of environmental extremists headed by Dr. Nikki Riley (played by Debbie Gibson) release a group of genetically enhanced exotic pythons into the Florida Everglades. The snakes cause havoc in the area, killing off a big chunk of the indigenous alligator population in a matter of days. Park ranger Terry O’Hara (Tiffany) issues permits to local game hunters to hunt down the invasive species and stop the spread of the snakes, but the hunters including her husband-to-be Justin (Carey Van Dyke) are systematically killed off by the snakes. Distraught due to her loss, Terry works with her trusted assistant Angie (Kathryn Joosten) to give anabolic steroids to the alligator population so they could grow to compete in nature with the snakes. This fails miserably as both the alligators and snakes grow to monstrous sizes and terrorize the surrounding communities. Now it is up to the unlikely twosome of Dr. Riley and Terry to lure the monsters to a secluded location with pheromones to destroy the abominations once and for all.

As with virtually all Asylum productions, Mega Python vs. Gatoroid has terrible special effects, horrific CGI effects, and rotten acting but everything here is over the top in presentation which at times makes the film watchable. There are some one-liners that are worthy of a few chuckles among the absurd dialogue: while feeding steroids to the alligators, Terry states “Feeding anabolic steroids to gators. What could go wrong?”; and while hiding Dr. Riley states “I think we’re alone now” with Terry adding “There doesn’t seem to be anyone around” which is a direct pun to Gibson’s pop princess career of the 1980’s. I also chuckled when snakes attack a high-end party and literally all of the socialites are packing heat. The cameo by Micky Dolenz from the 1960’s band The Monkees was hilarious especially just before he performs his first song. In addition, the cat fight between Tiffany and Gibson was epic and a laugh riot. There were some funny moments throughout this production, but the rest of Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is so choppy and incoherent that it is hard to take the project seriously. This film does feature a couple dozen exploitative shots of Tiffany’s surgically enhanced cleavage for those who can not get enough of fake boobs as well as the ultra skinny Gibson in a wet white dress.

Tiffany and Gibson both co-produced Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, each donated a song to the soundtrack, and the two 80’s pop princesses even toured together for a short time after the film’s release. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid is yet another entry into The Asylum’s catalog of ridiculous monster movies that may be worth a few yuks but really lack any substance. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid would be fun with a twelve pack of adult beverages and a group of sarcastic friends but fans who want more than MST3K quality in their films will want to dodge this cheese ball offering.

* * 1/2

–Mark

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