• A Review Page For Those Movies You Watch At Home!

    Couch Potato Movie Reviews is, obviously, a blog that exclusively reviews movies. What makes this blog different is the fact that all of the films we are reviewing are all movies that are available on home movie rental companies such as Redbox, Netflix, Blockbuster, and your quickly disappearing neighborhood rental store. This blog is designed to take a more detailed look at those movies that either were sent straight to DVD, received a very limited release in the theaters, or were distributed through the art house or film festival circuit. We will also review those big Hollywood films, but only after they are available for home viewing.

    All the reviews are written by fans of the great art of film making rather than some newspaper reviewer or stuffy film student. We don’t know everything about film but we do know what we like, and we are more than happy to share our opinions with you. What you do with those opinions are totally up to you, although comments are welcome and encouraged.

    Each film review has a one to five star rating at the end of the critique. Here is what those star ratings mean for you couch potatoes:

    * * * * * : Five stars: go and buy this one, don’t just rent it!

    * * * * : Four stars: put this at the top of your rental list.

    * * * : Three stars: average, not bad just not great either.

    * * : Two stars: only rent if you have to see everything.

    * : One star: don’t waste your time with this.

Suck

TITLE: Suck

YEAR: 2009

GENRE: Horror and Comedy and Musical

Ever since the release of The Rocky Horror Picture Show back in 1975, there has been the occasional underground musical release that attempts to top the original classic. A few films such as Repo! The Genetic Opera and Cannibal: The Musical have come close to matching the magic and creativity of the Tim Curry/Susan Sarandon masterpiece, but many have not. The Canadian horror musical offering Suck has some redeeming characteristics but does not capture the magic of the original, but that does not mean that the film is not worth seeing. Rather, Suck is a fairly interesting musical offering that offers some creative storyline, great cameos, and interesting situations.

The Winners is a long-lasting yet not very talented rock and roll band that plays seedy, low grade clubs around southern Canada and New York and has a manager who is more interested in Japanese hip hop than his band. After playing a dump in Montreal, bass player Jennifer (Jessica Pare) meets the creepy Queeny (Dimitri Coats) who happens to be a vampire. After Queeny turns Jessica into a bloodsucker the band suddenly develops newfound interest in the band and notoriety due to Jessica’s new pasty-faced appearance and stage presence. Once her band mates discover her new medical condition, the band is divided between their newfound popularity and the fact that their bass player is a member of the walking undead with a penchant for plasma. With a major band showcase that could make the band world famous on the horizon, the decision to become an all-vampire rock band becomes more and more appealing. However, when vampire hunter Eddie Van Helsing (Malcolm McDowell) starts to stalk the band the vamp rock and roll lifestyle becomes more dangerous than sex, drugs, and sucking blood ever could be.

Although nowhere near as good as The Rocky Horror Picture Show or Repo! The Genetic Opera, Suck does have its fair share of redeeming qualities. First of all, the story is fairly original compared to most vampire movies and the characters throughout the movie are engaging especially Jessica as the sexy female vamp who attempts to control her bloodlust to no avail. The cameos throughout the film are the best aspect of the film: shock rocker legend Alice Cooper appears as a vampire bartender who meets various characters throughout the film at an imaginary crossroads; rocker/poet Henry Rollins plays a DJ who interviews The Winners and ends up on their dinner plate after the interview; punk singer Iggy Pop plays a creepy recording studio owner; and Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson is a border guard who desperately misses his former rock star touring lifestyle. Some of the kills are creative and comical including when Jessica sucks the blood out of a convenience store clerk using a straw in the corroded artery and competing rock singer Beef Bellows (played by industrial rock god Moby) meets his end through a blood draining during oral sex from Jennifer. Lots of vampirism imagery is played upon through Suck including the band’s touring vehicle (a black hearse). The problem with the film is the music used, in which none of it is very memorable although it does include original material from Velvet Underground, Spoons, and Still Bleeding.

Pare has tuned a lot of heads worldwide and is a major up and coming talent; she recently scored a regular role on the AMC TV show “Mad Men” and starred in Hot Tub Time Machine as well as a few roles in Bollywood. Suck is a pretty decent musical horror comedy, but it does lack the over the top nature to make the film an instant classic. Still, it is more than worth a viewing by fans of Hedwig And The Angry Inch and Repo! The Genetic Opera. One thing is for sure: Suck definitely does not suck.

* * * 1/2

–Mark

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